Family dispute illustrates need for long-term care plan

A recent New Jersey court case demonstrates how important it is for families to come up with a long-term care plan before an emergency strikes.

The case involved two brothers who got into a fight over whether to place their mother in a nursing home. R.G. was the primary caregiver for his parents, as well as their agent under powers of attorney. After R.G.’s mother fell ill, R.G. wanted to place her in a nursing home. R.G.’s brother objected, but R.G. went ahead and had his mother admitted to a nursing home without his brother’s consent. R.G.’s brother sent angry and threatening texts and emails to R.G. as well as emails expressing his desire to find a way to care for their parents in their home. Eventually the men got into a physical altercation in which R.G.’s brother shoved R.G.

R.G. went to court to get a restraining order against his brother under New Jersey’s Prevention of Domestic Violence Act. A trial judge ruled that R.G. had been harassed and assaulted and issued the order. But a New Jersey appeals court reversed the trial court, ruling that R.G.’s brother’s actions did not amount to domestic violence. According to the court, there was insufficient evidence that R.G.’s brother purposely acted to harass R.G.

If the brothers had sat down with their parents before either of them needed care to explore options and determine their wishes, this drawn-out and costly dispute might have been avoided. Putting a long-term care plan into place before a crisis develops can help avoid family conflicts like this one.